I myself could have provided Rob with this information in individual or couples therapy, but hearing it from other men who were negotiating some of the same concerns as his allowed him to hear these options as realities, instead of theories. Meanwhile, Mia became involved in a chapter of the Straight Spouses Network, talking with others who were dealing with a gay, lesbian, or bisexual spouse.
Rob and Mia seemed to work out a don't-ask-don't-tell arrangement. For months, they continued to sleep separately, have meals together, engage in social events together, but not discuss whether or to what extent either of them was engaging in relationships outside their marriage. After months of "don't ask, don't tell," Mia confronted Rob with her suspicions about his sexual activities.
Having prepared for this in individual therapy, he was straightforward about them. She felt betrayed and angry. He felt guilty, apologized profusely, recommitted himself to their traditional marriage, and swore he wouldn't have sex with another partner again. In our next session, Rob said, "I told her what I knew she wanted to hear, but I know I can't recommit to our marriage the way it was.
I think we each deserve to be happy and feel desired. And even though divorce isn't consistent with my religious beliefs, having sex outside my marriage—even if Mia and I agreed to this—is even harder for me to fathom than divorce. I need to talk to Mia about what our next steps should be. For several sessions, Rob and I rehearsed this conversation with Mia—where he might have it, what her reaction s might be, and how he'd manage his reactions to hers.
I encouraged him to clarify his thoughts by writing down what he wanted to say, and to write back to himself from Mia's perspective, to help him get the larger picture of what was going on for both of them. The conversation was difficult, but both were empathic with the other and honest about their own needs. In the same conversation, Mia shared that she'd decided months ago to seek a divorce.
As Rob's divorce was being finalized, his dating turned into a serious relationship, but it soon ended. The feedback he received from his partner was that he was "too intense" and "moved too quickly. Not only was he dealing with what every divorced person deals with upon entering the world as a single person again, but he was entering the world as an available, out, gay man. He was in the process of reconciling his faith with his sexual orientation—which, for him, meant finding one man with whom to be monogamous.
Gently, I encouraged him to look at his expectations about the speed with which he'd find a partner. I've seen Rob, on and off, for five years since he and Mia divorced. His co-parenting relationship with Mia has remained solid, though it's seen moments of strain when either or both of them have been dating someone more seriously. He's remained sober through these years, and continues to date with a greater sense of contentment and less pressure. He's found a Roman Catholic religious community that's accepting of his sexual orientation.
Still, he sometimes grieves for the loss of how he used to view the concept of "family," and he struggles with reconciling his divorce and sexual orientation with his faith. We recently reminisced about our first meeting, and I reminded him of the first words he'd shared with me. Plus, earn 2 CE hours every issue! Your email address will not be published. Website URL. What if there are genuine scientific reasons to fear same-sex marriage?
Here are just some possibilities we should brace ourselves for. Governor Mike Huckabee pointed out that for the Supreme Court to legalise same-sex marriage is to overturn nature, which is impossible. The Supreme Court can no more repeal the laws of nature and nature's God on marriage than it can the laws of gravity. However, same-sex marriage is now legal, so clearly it is possible for humans to overturn nature.
This opens up a wide variety of problems, given how nature is responsible for everything that keeps the planet running. Clearly LGBT people have the power to overrule nature to suit their own needs. What if some careless homosexual is struggling with a heavy suitcase and decides to lower the mass of the planet to reduce the strength of gravity? Opposite-sex marriage occurs all the time in nature. Numerous species are regularly seen in naturally occurring registry offices signing naturally occurring forms to ensure their marriage is recognised by naturally occurring legal frameworks.
As already hinted at, the celebrations of the legalisation of same-sex marriage have resulted in a stark increase in the number of rainbows seen everywhere. The rainbow is the symbol of the LGBT movement , so this makes sense. No harm in rainbows, right? Ever since the election of U. In , Trump announced a ban on transgender people serving in the military, and this month, rescinded Obama-era guidelines protecting trans people from healthcare discrimination. While an outright dismissal of same-sex marriage is considered highly unlikely, legal experts say decisions at state level and in the lower courts, many filled with Trump-appointed judges, could erode protections for gay couples.
And despite the Supreme Court ruling, most states continue to carry gay marriage bans on the books, with Republicans in states such as Florida and Indiana blocking attempts to strike down the outdated and ineffectual bans.
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